My fear is...not truly figuring out who I am before its too late. I mean, am I really still trying to figure out who I am at this age? I wanna say that it's pathetic!! But another part of me is screaming "be patient"! Honestly where do I go from here? I feel like I've ruined myself...and everything is too late. That's how I feel...but feelings are temporary right? I feel so confused right now. Experiences (traumatic) are what have lead me to this point, but why and how have I let that shape the very core of who I am. I think somewhere along the way I lost control. :-(

Was I ever really in control to begin with?